The Worst Book Ever

**Listen to the podcast episode where this book is discussed.**

I’m really good at starting things. Really good. One of the best, in fact.

I debated whether to end that last sentence with “in fact.”

I debated whether to write that last sentence.

Some time ago, I started The Worst Book Ever with Ben Maher as co-writer. The book could be found at and still can be found at that exact Internet location. I sincerely, honestly, can’t begin to tell you how intensely crazy I am about that domain name. Worst Book Ever Dot Biz?! DOT BIZ?? Incredibly amazingly amazing domain name.

We began a blog called The Worst Blog Ever where we discussed what the worst book ever should be about, because that’s what you do before co-writing the worst book ever. We never actually began writing the book, because, as we learned, that’s what you do when co-writing the worst book ever.

It hasn’t gone anywhere since. But I post it here because no one has ever read it and I want at least a few more people to see this masterpiece of non book writing.


From Post 1 of the Worst Blog Ever

We live in an extraordinary time. It is a time when it is easier to write a book than ever before in the history of everyone. There are many, many, many, many, many books.

How many books are there? Well, two years ago, Google geniuses set out to determine the answer to this very question and came up with the number 129,864,880. My calculations lead me to believe that today, two years later, with the ease of self-publishing through eReaders, at least a billion more books have been published since then.

Incredibly, of the 1,129,864,880 books in the world, an Amazon search of book titles reveals a stunning if not mind-blowing fact: not one book ever written (in English) has been titled Worst Book Ever or even The Worst Book Ever. No book has “worst book ever” in the title. Not one.

There may be good reason for that. Who would want to call their own literary work the “Worst Book Ever?” The answer is no one. Not one person on the earth would dare give their own artistic production a name that ridicules the work of their hands.

Just to be safe, let’s search “Worst Book” on Amazon and see what we come up with.

Okay, a book called, The Worst Book Imaginable exists. The book, however, appears to be about a really bad cursed book uncovered by a crow and a mouse. It is fantasy lit, and although the book cover appears to have been drawn in Microsoft Paint, I’m sure it’s a great read.

Another book titled, The World’s Worst Book: Over 1,000 of the most hilarious, bizarre, and disgusting things never thought of…comes closer to worst book status, but the author ensures through the subtitle that he is not writing the world’s worst book, he is only capturing some of the worst things in the world in his book. A total cop-out.

The book you find at this website is embarking on a noble quest. Since no one on the planet we call Earth is willing to write the worst book ever, I believe it is time for someone to stand up and try it. And I am not alone. There is another who is joining me in putting everything on the line to write the worst book. (Everyone knows that to write the worst book, you need two people, not one.) Together, we know it won’t be easy. We fully realize that we are probably crazy for trying. And we have no idea how to begin.

  • Is it possible to succeed in writing the worst book ever?
  • What are the components or traits of the worst book necessary in order to achieve that goal?
  • Should it be fiction or non?
  • Will anyone read it, besides me, since I read an re-read everything I write?

These are questions Ben Maher and I will seek to address as we conceive of the idea for the book in this blog. That’s right. We have no idea what we’ll write. We know as much about the book as you do. All we want to do is be transparent about the process by chronicling the effort publicly. At this point, we have no rules or ambitions, other than to write the worst book ever.

Continue to Part Two