Man

21 Steering Wheel Holds and What They Say About You (Number 13 Won’t Shock You)

Have you ever wondered what your steering wheel grasp says about your personality? Through a clinical trial, scientists have discovered that the way you hold your steering wheel says more about you than you might think.

I took some selfies the other day to demonstrate each steering wheel holding method and what it says about you.

Before you begin reading, it might be helpful to drive around for a few minutes to determine your dominant hold.

 

1. “The Student Hold” – Risk averse, careful, intelligent

Using this driving method, you are screaming out to the world that you are a law-abiding citizen. This classic Driver’s Ed hold places you at the upper end of the top 1% of drivers, making you a superior driver, and one the 99% despise.

I don’t know anyone in this category, but if I did, I’d politely say, “If you call this number, you could save 10% or more on your car insurance.”

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2. “The Cool Hold” – Life of the party

You are cool and you know it. I try to drive like this when people are watching. When a cop is behind me, I quickly change to #1 above.

The key here is holding the steering wheel at the top, slightly to the right of the top of the wheel, with your left hand.

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3. “The When’s the Next Rest Stop? Hold” – Short-tempered, anxious, anal-retentive

This hold looks like the cool hold but it’s not.

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Part of me suspects that I’m a loser, and the other part of me thinks I’m God Almighty. – John Lennon

 

4. “The Medical Grip” – You’d make a great doctor

This steering wheel hold means business. You are very bright and can hold a scalpel like a pro.

 

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I just realized this is the first time my arms have been photographed for this blog.

 

5. “The Medical Grip II” – You’d make a great nurse

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I probably wouldn’t make a great nurse, as you can see from my poor attempt at mimicking this hold.

 

6. “The Unsure Hold” – Inept decision making, would make a good ballroom dancer, was a nice kid in middle school

See #6 heading for all you need to know about this hold. If you’re unsure what you just read, stop here and sign up with Arthur Murray or similar local ballroom dance instructor.

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It looks like I’m flexing here but I promise, I’m not.

 

7. “The Chef Hold” – Great cook, home is straight out of every good idea on Houzz, Cocoa Puffs cereal mixed in peanut butter is guilty pleasure

 

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8. “The Fingertip Hold” – Germaphobic, even of your own germs, and that’s okay

No further explanation needed.

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If you want to stop reading soon, just subscribe to my blog by email by scrolling down to the bottom of this post.

 

9. “Anxiety Hold”

Notice how the hands are slightly apart and the chin is closer to the wheel than any of the previously mentioned holds. A mathematical formula can be used to determine anxiety level with this hold, where the smaller the number the more anxious the driver. In this image, hands are 2.5 centimeters apart. Chin is 15 centimeters from steering wheel. Therefore, this driver is 2.5 + 15 = 17.5 centimeters anxious. If you are 20 centimeters anxious or less, you may have an anxiety disorder. You also may not.

 

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With the shadow on my right bicep, it makes me look pretty buff in this image, which is good, because I’m worried I have an anxiety disorder in this image, which is not good.

 

10. “Lazy Hold” – Pure laziness

Notice how hands are even closer together than in the Anxiety Hold description above. But this isn’t anxiety. It’s pure laziness.

The Lazy Hold is marked by the hands just resting on the steering wheel as if they’re taking a nap.

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I promise I wasn’t flexing in this image either.

 

11. “The Butterfly Hold” – Up in the air

Also known as the Carpal Tunnel Syndrome Hold in more technical circles, the Butterfly Hold is named after the insect that kind of looks like this hold. What do you think this says about you? Scientists aren’t exactly sure.

 

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Ouch! I’m still recovering from this unnatural holding method.

 

12. “The Double Pinky Hold” – Fun-loving, very brave when dropped into a war zone in your dreams but not so much when dropped into a war zone in reality

What more can be said? Description says it all.

One weird thing to mention. Notice how the side mirror in this image is blank and the side mirror in image #11 has a tree in it. Conspiracy?

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13. “The Knee Hold” – Careless; feigned fearlessness; extrovert; probably sipping through a straw from a 32 oz (or larger) cup obtained as part of a value meal from a fast food establishment

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14. “Toonee Hold” (US), or “Two Knee Hold” (NZ)

A joint study is being conducted between US and NZ researchers to ascertain the personality type of this hold.

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I just want to point out that I was driving 58 mph when I attempted this hold. I crashed and rolled the car a few times shortly thereafter.

 

15. “Pinky Solo” – Independent, vivacious, forgiving, still watches Gilmore Girls and is noticeably angst-ridden after a multi-episode binge

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16. “The Rude Hold” – Always pointing at others making them feel bad about themselves

This driver can’t help but point even when no one is around.

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17. “Psycho Hold” – you are certifiably nuts and should be institutionalized

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18. “The Perfectly Normal Hold” – You are perfectly normal

You can distinguish yourself from the Psycho Hold with only a slight deviation. Notice any difference? Look at the above image (#17) and then look at the image below. What’s missing? You guessed it! The right hand. The right hand is hidden during performance of “The Perfectly Normal Hold.”

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19. Karate Chop Hold – Almost not human

It’s a good thing my camera isn’t better at capturing still shots during rapid karate chop movements, because I wanted to capture the blur caused by the rapidity at which I was chopping the steering wheel. I was so impressed at my chopping skillz without a single Karate class! I now say “Karate” with an accent.

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I sliced the steering wheel in half .000309 seconds after this picture was taken, earning me the coveted and seldom awarded Gray Belt

 

20. The Unsuccessful Blogger Hold – Creative, social, yet a little too awkward for blogging success

This driving method is really easy for me to write about. It consists of two karate chop holds without the chop (i.e. kept still) on the center of the steering wheel, indicating a unique and competitive driving style. This is the least effective of all driving methods. The car is much less responsive using this hold, and so is the reaction to the material you come up with for your blog posts.

 

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21. “The ‘Good Job’ Hold” – Eternal optimist, helps others, an aversion to CNBC

Because the thumb is pointing upward with this hold, this is one for very upbeat, positive people who wish to let their fellow passengers and fellow travelers on the roadway around them know that they are doing a good job.

The driver who uses this hold is happy in every area of life except while trying to relax watching some TV and some inconsiderate person comes over and changes the channel to something like CNBC.

 

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