Burst, Man, Politics

John Edwards’ America

I was in America.

Awake.

Sitting on the couch, as I so often am.

When suddenly, I realized I was dreaming of John Edwards’ America.

Someday, instead of saying, “this isn’t your grandfather’s America,” we might say, “this isn’t your John Edwards’ America.”

And we would be right.

 

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This is part of the Burst series which includes completely random bursts of thought that may or may not provide even a fraction of value to the reader. 

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Also, I sat on this post for a long time, waiting for just the right moment to publish it. I realized there will never be a good moment to publish this post, so here it is.

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Man

5 North American Stereotypes That Are Completely Accurate

newworldna

Live in North America? While you don’t think about it much, when you tell your friends from outside of North America where you live, they may not tell you what they are really thinking. And they certainly are thinking. So what does living in North America actually say about you?

1. You are alive

Typical North American pose

 

Unless your address is the North American Cemetery, people who live in North America are living, breathing Homo sapiens who not only have a pulse, but they eat, drink, and sleep just like non-North Americans.

2. You have dreams

I wish I had a dream like this last night. Instead, and I’m completely serious, I dreamed I was on a landed plane in a desert-y location where terrorist snipers were picking off passengers who deboarded. Two had just left the plane and I wasn’t sure if they had made it to safety. I was next.

When sleeping at night for long stretches of time, sometimes you enter an REM state and dream about things.

3. Sometimes you’re sad or discouraged

It’s true. It’s so true.

4. You see joggers

North Americans occasionally see joggers running. Some join them, others don’t.

5. Food

Last of all, living in North America means you eat food. And that may be the most significant of all of the stereotypes, except for maybe number one.

 

Did I forget one? Send me YOUR suggestions by commenting below!

 

* This post addresses the stereotype list craze you might find here, here, here, here, here, here, etc.

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Man

My blog is gigantic/intergalactic

I’ve made it. I did it. Since late last year, I’ve been blogging almost weekly. I’ve written dumb posts about things like yogurt and I’ve written on heavier topics with a dose or two of soul. But nothing compares to a post written in the second week of this blog’s existence. That post has caught on in a big way.

Tonight, I noticed that someone found that post today through a Google search. I checked and sure enough, it is the most popular post found through Google search. Most popular post on my blog, that is.

The post in question is: “11 Incredibly Easy Ways to Run a Successful Blog.”

With the knowledge I have gained from all this blogging, I would now change that post’s title to:

 

1 Incredibly Easy Way to Run a Successful Blog

1) Use an obscure image from Star Wars in a post.

2) that’s it

3) ignore 2 & 3

 

All I did to achieve incredible success easily in my “11 ways” post is I added a picture from Empire Strikes Back of Luke doing a handstand while Yoda instructs and R2 scans the scene. They are on a planet in the Dagobah System.

Dagobah System.

That is literally all I did to draw readership to this little corner of the Web.

Little corner of the Web? Not anymore! Huge. My blog is huge. Gigantic. Dagobah System. My blog is intergalactic.

 

Try this (at home):

1) go to www.google.com/images

2) type “Dagobah System”

3) look at the 2nd row of images, 2nd image from the left and if you’re on a desktop, place your mouse over or click on the image of Luke doing a handstand and it will take you to my site. I haven’t tested this from a mobile device. It’s downstairs.

 

You don’t understand. My blog post’s image is the SECOND possible Dagobah System image on GOOGLE. Before long, I will start advertising on the site to cash out on all this publicity.

Now please, don’t ask me where I got the original image. If I’m sued down the road over this, just know that people who are successful get sued a lot.

I’ve never been sued.

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P.S. Maybe this post will appear in a Google “Dagobah System” search in the future and I could dominate the Dagobah SEO space! If so, I’ll throw them off with this:

Dagobah System….wink, wink

 

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