Man

Our Corner of the Eye Problem

Once from the corner of my eye I saw a flash of darkness zip like this – SHWALAKAZAM – back and forth really quickly like a boomerang but all on the left side of my eye.

It’s hard to explain. I’m a terrible writer. Why did I start a blog when I can’t describe anything? Let me try this again.

I was sitting here on the couch. Actually, it was a chair. I didn’t own a couch. It was night time. It was 1999. I was watching a movie. The movie was funny. I forget what the movie was but again, it made me laugh. I wonder if it would still make me laugh. Probably not. My humor has matured so much since then.

Just as I laughed out loud (at a funny part from the movie), out of the corner of my eye on the left side, I saw that dark dot quickly flash around and go – KAZOOKEE – back and forth, really fast. SWISH-SHWOO, like that.

It was dark in the room. I forgot to mention that. So the dark flash occurred in the darkness. That’s important to know.

Does any of this make sense?

Fine, I’ll just say the punch line here, which really wasn’t meant to be a punch line. I’m just a terrible excuse for a writer.

The dark flash turned out to be a mouse.

I should turn this story into a children’s book called, “SHWALAKAZAM” when I figure out how to describe this story. No results found for that word in a Google search………

YET.

 

I should also write about all my experience with mice sometime. It will be a post for me, not for you. I’m still dealing with each of these experiences, the first that occurred when I was a young man of about three years old. I’ll need some time to work it out.

***

Anyway, we’ve talked about me – let’s talk about you now. That’s right, I’m looking right at you…

OUT OF THE CORNER OF MY EYE.

I’ve noticed something about you from the corner of my eye that bothers me. It bothers me a lot.

When I see you from the corner of my eye…how do I say this?

I’ll just give it to you straight.

When I see you from the corner of my eye, I can see you picking at the corner of your eye.

I try to point the periphery of my eye further away from you but somehow I can still see what you do after you pick the contents of the corner of your eye.

From the corner of my eye, the thing I notice you doing is you extend your hand in such a way as to enable you to see with your full eye the said contents of the corner of your eye.

This happens to me so often, at least twice a year, and not just with you, but with others as well, that I can keep silent no longer.

I will also get into trouble with those of the opposite gender (as me) as I am about to say something that may come across as sexist.

I’ve never seen a man do this out of the corner of my eye, or otherwise.

In any case, it can be said with some degree of certainty that both you and I share this in common:

We both have a corner of the eye problem.

 

 

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