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My Super Power, Super Weakness

View post on imgur.com “With great power comes great responsibility.” –an uncle in one of the fifty recent Spider Man movies I have a super power. It’s nothing close to easy to have a super power, because as you all know there are rules to super...
Republic of Black Friday

Republic of Black Friday

On this Black Friday, November 27, 2015, I address you for the first time as your Supreme Leader. Together, we are now citizens of the newly established Republic of Black Friday. It can be said we have achieved the greatest of all victories by replacing a good system...
Thank yous – “The Ending” – Part 3 of many

Thank yous – “The Ending” – Part 3 of many

Before you begin reading  Part 3 – “The Ending” You Should Definitely Sign up HERE to be notified of future posts! Or fine, DON’T BOTHER! It will save me time UNSUBSCRIBING you later!  YEAH, YOU. THAT’S WHAT I JUST SAID. Do I need to repeat...
The Man With No Sense of Humor

The Man With No Sense of Humor

MEMORANDUM (1st draft) To: All Employees From: Rex Schlonnagan, Senior Executive Administrative Vice Manager’s Assistant RE: The Restrooms Date: November 1, 2015 Dear Fellow Employees, It is with great pleasure that I report to you our third consecutive week of...

The Worst Book Ever

**Listen to the podcast episode where this book is discussed.** I’m really good at starting things. Really good. One of the best, in fact. I debated whether to end that last sentence with “in fact.” I debated whether to write that last sentence. Some...

How to Reach Me

WARNING: This post contains a film script, a still image of a text message flying through the air, and my zero tolerance policy for a surging salutation trend used in email. I say this now only because the part about when my phone is stuck under the driver’s...