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Since I quit my blog last week, I’ve been thinking about what I would post if I had a blog. The answer became obvious two minutes ago: I would write about something that would make me laugh, like posting something called, “No more blog part 2.”


The Calculator Watch


I have been in love with calculator watches for about a year and a half now. There is somewhat of a fraternity whenever I come across another man who is wearing one. In eighteen months, there have been three.

I want to start an online calculator watch business. has a few distributors selling watches of the ridiculi variety. I’ve spent more hours than you should know looking for the perfect calculator watch to wear and sell. If anyone wants in on that with me, let me know. I’m hiring. Payment in the form of high fives. 

This one arrived in my mailbox on Friday. Made my day. Fortunately, detailed directions came with the watch. Otherwise I would have been in serious trouble just to program the date and time. Cut me some slack, I have a B.A. in political “science.”

Sporting the micro-multi-keypadded beauty on my wrist on my way to work this morning, windows down, wind through my thick locks,* I noticed that the time was correctly displayed exactly twelve hours behind the current time.

One extra perk included in my new gadget is that I am able to program email into it. That was cool. Letters. Not just numbers. Letters. The @ symbol.

Only took me 15 minutes to type my wife’s email using the little keys. K – fwd – R – fwd – I – fwd… But it has an email address field, which I find to be so choice. No, the watch does not send email. And for hundreds more, neither does the Pebble (which actually weighs less than my old school watch). The Galaxy Gear is slightly more functional though with slightly less battery life and I have slightly more interest in checking it out. The only problem is I have slightly less money than its slightly more expensive $299 price tag. And then there’s the bulkiness factor of the latest smart watches – I don’t want to wear an iPod Touch-sized paperweight on my wrist.

Until the iWatch and future improved generations of calculator watches come around, it will be the retro calc watch for me, baby.


*Actually, windows up, heater blasting.

Footnote: I do not own the watch pictured. Still haven’t found the perfect calculator watch.